just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
