Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
