Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
