he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
