bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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