sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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