Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
