Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
They took my balls.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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