Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
