it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
