This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
No subtext here. People are naked.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
