So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
