cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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