doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Dicks are not precious.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
