for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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