I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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