he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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