HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize