I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
They should really pass out barf bags in church
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
