Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
i've created a new STD.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
