White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
