im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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