omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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