nutella sex= disaster
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
being pregnant is like rehab
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
