Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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