I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
