At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
