sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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