I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
