We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Vodka?
Forever.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
All the doctor said was why
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
