You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
