my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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