Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
