When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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