I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
