I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
this will be a night to untag.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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