just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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