the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
