there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm passing your future prison.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
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