that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
