Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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