Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
