I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize
