Your mouth is God's brothel.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize