I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
