Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
When are your genitals available?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
