the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
