It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
