I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize