she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
