Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
It's just like the Real World with babies
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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