You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
