and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
