i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
