How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
