More tranny stories later!
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
