super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I think I won the penis lottery.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Let's paint friendship bongs
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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