we have pet lesbian snakes
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize