Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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